Even in the best relationships, roughly seventy percent of conflicts are perennial ones which never get solved. At the root of these conflicts are often qualities that one partner has (or lacks) which annoy the other person. The honeymoon phase of a relationship passes and then comes reality. When it comes to improving your relationship, one helpful tip is to become more accepting of your partner’s strengths and weaknesses, rather than attempting to get them to change fundamentally. If you honestly believe you’ve found the person that you’re suppose to spend the rest of your life with, don’t let them go and learn to love them for their flaws! Successful relationships are built by finding a common ground between the two parties and loving someone for both their positives and negatives. Here are some great tips on how to become more accepting of your partner’s flaws in a relationship.
Acknowledge your flaws – I’m sure every single person reading this can come up with some annoying qualities they have which their partner puts up with. In a relationship, it’s always easy to see everything through your own perspective. You likely see all the ways that your partner is irritating but conveniently forget about the small ways you can be hard to live with.
Consider why a particular flaws irritates you – When a partner’s weakness irritates you, it can be caused by something extra you’re reading into. Take a good look at the additional meanings you’re adding on to your frustration about one particular flaw. If you tend towards anxiety for example, their flaw might activate anxiety for you. If you feel like you’re not being cared about, then their flaw might activate those types of feelings instead. Try and disentangle these extra meanings from your reactions to their behavior.
Consider some practical options – It’s important to remember that people don’t change unless they choose to themselves. If your partner isn’t going to change fundamentally, then what are your options? When you choose to accept your partner’s flaws, it can help you move towards thinking about practical options. How can you minimize the impact which their flaws and weaknesses are having on you? What are some practical workarounds? Finally, what can be done to reduce the stress that this flaw creates for you?
It’s very easy to develop habitual, frustrated responses to your partner’s flaws when they annoy you. The downside is, this can cause you to lose sight of how important that quality really is in the big picture of your relationship. Not accepting your partner for both their strengths and weaknesses is one reason some people can’t find love. If you take a moment to step back and get some perspective, you can probably turn down the intensity of your emotional reactions and feel more gratitude while thinking about practical solutions to minimize the impact which your partner’s flaws have on you. This isn’t always a quick and simple process, but one you’ll need to revisit anytime you feel frustration building up in a good relationship.