Under normal circumstances, the worst outcome of a shattering breakup is a broken heart. Unless you were involved with a narcissist. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to claim that a broken heart isn’t a big deal because it’s definitely one of the most painful things all of us experience. However, narcissists don’t stop at breaking your heart and the consequences of a relationship with them are much more severe. During the the initial stages of a relationship with a narcissist they will worship you, putting the world at your feet. They will flatter you and want to be around you at all times. This technique is called lovebombing and its aim is to suck you into a very dangerous state of emotional dependence on their constant praise, attention and validation.
Once they are sure you have successfully fallen under their spell, things will begin to get bad for you. You will feel terrible without being able to explain why, you will feel guilty, wrong, and selfish. That will make you want to fight for more of the old tasty praise and care you used to receive. You will find yourself apologizing for what you have done and what you are. You will be obsessed with the memory of how great things used to be between you and you will be ready to do almost anything to get back there. The problem is, with a narcissist you’ll probably never see those days again. Listed below are 4 hurtful things a narcissist will do to you.
Hurtful Things A Narcissist Will Do To You
1. Diminish Your Worth – The very first thing every narcissist tries to do from the start is diminish their victim’s worth. What makes this especially troubling is the fact that they will do it without you even noticing. Narcissists have a huge problem with low self-esteem. They don’t feel good about themselves, even when they pretend to be the most confident person ever. The only way a narcissist can feel equal to you is by dragging you down to their level. They know they can’t control a strong, independent person. So, a narcissist makes it their duty to distort your self-image. They will feed your insecurities and do everything in their power for you to think of yourself as less, as much as possible.
2. Make You Feel Guilty – Narcissists don’t feel any sense of responsibility. Even when they know they’re the guilty one, they’ll never admit it to anyone, let alone their victim. Every narcissist has a way of making excuses for themselves to justify their toxic behavior. But, they won’t stop there – they also want to persuade you that you are the one to blame for everything wrong in your relationship. Eventually, the narcissist will convince you that you are the cause of all the problems in your relationship and that you’re the one who needs to change for the better. Even when a narcissist acts like they are taking the blame for something, it will be in a twisted and sick way. Even when they ask for forgiveness and admit to being guilty for something, they will manipulate you into thinking that you were the one who caused them to be that way and therefor, provoked him or her into hurting you. In the end, you start to think that you had it coming and that you deserved everything this person has been doing to you. Sadly, that was a narcissist’s master plan all along.
3. Change The Essence Of Your Personality – As I previously mentioned, narcissistic people don’t just stop at breaking your heart. These types of people often have the need to crush you completely and break your spirit in every possible way. After spending years next to someone like this, you will find it difficult to recognize yourself because they erase every trace of the person you were before they entered your life. You lose yourself completely in this pursuit of happiness next to the wrong person. Then, when a narcissist sees that they have succeeded in their intentions, that is when they think they have won. They know that they’ve managed to leave a permanent mark on your personality and that blows their ego out of proportion.
4. Make You Lose Faith – Walking away from a narcissist is one of the most difficult things to do. If this is something you’ve been through, you know exactly what I’m talking about. But healing after narcissistic abuse can be even more difficult. You see, a narcissist makes you lose faith in yourself and people in general. They cause you so much harm that it’s only natural for you to expect every other person in your life will treat you the same way. You will think everyone has the intention of breaking your heart and that there isn’t a person left on this planet who will see your worth and who will love you for real. But the worst part is that narcissists make you lose faith in yourself. They convince you that you are the unlovable one and that you don’t deserve to find true love. They make you think that you are good for nothing and they make you stop loving yourself for real.