It’s important to realize that all relationships have different levels. Each stage of your relationship will bring bigger challenges which will require more complex skills for you to overcome the obstacles. Getting to the next level in a romantic relationship can seem tough at times, and those can often be the best times to reset your relationship. Resetting the relationship between you and your partner can put you both back at the beginning of the same level with one another. It’s not always a good idea to start over at level 1 (before you learned what to do and what not to do to keep the relationship stable). Instead, you should be starting over at the level you’ve already reached and try new methods to help you move forward. Sometimes you might say the wrong thing, make a mistake, or just get off course. Or, one of you becomes complacent in the relationship and quits putting forth any effort. Regardless of what the reason might be, this article will help by giving you nine simple ways both you and your partner can reset your relationship and become stronger as a couple!
How To Reset Your Relationship
1. Identify Why You Value The Relationship – First, you need to revisit why you each value the relationship. This step is key and should be one of the first things you do, as it will be a clear indicator about whether it’s worthwhile to start over. Some relationships just aren’t meant to be. By cluing in to why you want the relationship to work out, it will help motivate you throughout the steps to come.
2. Seek Relationship Support & Advice – Getting help can be difficult. People and society in general often view therapy and counseling as a bad thing. You might even feel hesitant or embarrassed to seek support or advice, but this is a must. A therapist or counselor can help guide you through tough conversations in a healthy environment. By practicing and learning healthy communication, your relationship will fare better than ever before.
3. Find A Way To Communicate – Speaking of communication, it can be near impossible for some people. What works for one person won’t necessarily work for another. The both of you will need to find a middle ground on how you communicate with each other. As long as you are both aware of this and willing to continue trying, any method you prefer should work. Even if you find your partner’s preferred method funny or difficult, you should be respectful of their attempts and be open to trying them.
4. Forgive & Start Anew – In some cases, your reasoning for a fresh start may have to do with a serious misstep on you or your partner’s past. Say one of you said or did something that the other has deemed unforgivable. If there is any chance of continuing the relationship, you will first have to forgive. This applies to both of you. The person who feels betrayed will have to overcome and move past this thing without harboring any resentment. Otherwise, the leftover resentment will eventually come to the surface. Meanwhile, the person who misstepped will have to forgive themself. It is not only to prevent themselves from doing the same thing again, but also to not make the new relationship all about “making up” for their past. If either of you is unable to forgive, then there is little chance of starting over.
5. Learn How to Compromise – In any relationship, it’s important that you’re both able to compromise. Learning to compromise is key for two very important reasons. First, it tells your partner that you value them and are willing to meet them in the middle for the sake of their happiness. The second reason is that it can be a useful tactic for preventing unnecessary arguments. The key thing about compromising is that both people must do it. If only one person in the relationship is making compromises, they will begin to resent their partner. As a couple, both people need to feel that they are receiving as much as they are giving.
6. Pick Your Battles – When starting a relationship over, it can be difficult to let go of past habits. In particular, the things or triggers that sparked arguments can be hard to forget. These triggers can be as simple as leaving the toilet seat up or putting clothes into the wrong hamper. When starting anew, you must learn the art of picking your battles. For the most part, this has to do with your own self-control. Think to yourself, “Is a toilet seat really worth fighting over?” In most cases, the answer will clearly be NO. Practice your ability to choose happiness in the face of what annoys you the most.
7. Practice Meaningful Interaction – When we talk about meaningful interaction, this includes actions that are both physical and emotional. The most obvious is probably physical affection. This can include intimacy, cuddling, holding hands, or the simplest of touches. In regards to emotion, this applies to both your willingness to share and your ability to listen. You should be open to sharing your own emotions and able to actively listen when your partner is sharing.
8. Speak & Think Positively About Your Partner – Sometimes the most difficult part of starting over in a relationship is adjusting how you have been speaking and thinking about your partner. If a relationship has soured, your actions or thoughts towards them might be negative. It is crucial that when starting over you strive for positivity in every aspect. This means you need to stop the trash talk to family and friends as well as negative internal thoughts. With that being said, it is important that you have the people surrounding you do the same. They can add to a toxic relationship by swaying or perpetuating old emotions.
9. Create Shared Goals – One of the most effective methods to building a positive relationship is creating shared goals. When you decide to reset your relationship, this is especially helpful, as you can toss out the old and look to freshen things up. These goals can be either short or long term, and we recommend coming up with a few of each. For example, a short term goal may be improving your listening skills, whereas a long term goal might be moving in together.
Although people might say otherwise, starting over in a relationship is possible. If both you and your partner are willing to put in the work and love one another, it can work out. Leave a comment below to let us know if you found these tips helpful!