All couples run into relationship issues at one time or another. These types of problems can range from those which are really big, all the way down to those of smaller proportions. While some couples decide it’s better to divorce after being married for a couple of years, others make the decision to try and improve their relationship so they can live happily together forever. The way these two different types of couples turn out isn’t really a matter of luck. There is actually a fairly simple concept that all happy couples tend to understand: Together you can cope with any problems in your families life!
It takes effort to protect, nurture and grow a marriage. Between work schedules, children, friends, and other obligations, sometimes it can seem impossible to maintain a healthy partnership. When marriage issues arise, some couples are better at overcoming them when compared to others. Listed below are several of the most common marriage issues that only emotionally intelligent couples are able to easily overcome!
Marriage Issues That Wise Couples Easily Overcome
1. Extra Weight – It’s not uncommon for newlyweds to gain some extra weight after tying the knot. Scientists from the University of Glasgow performed a study which found newly married couples gain about 3-5 pounds within the first year of being married. In general, married people weight as much as 13 pounds more than those who are single. Often times, the weight gain is connected with the state of psychological comfort because partners are confident in each other and therefore, let themselves relax a bit.
What to do? – Losing weight together can be a fun and exciting thing for couples to do with each other. It’ll be easier than you think when the person next to you is your partner and the two of you are working towards a healthier lifestyle together. However, nutritionists do warn that men can lose weight faster than women. The best ways to get back in shape come from riding bikes, climbing, and walking in the evenings.
2. Financial Burden After Children – Most young families will feel a financial burden when having children. One survey held by NerdWallet showed that parents are almost always not ready to have kids, and it doesn’t depend on their financial standing. Both middle-class and lower-income families will face the lack of money.
What to do? – Start planning and saving long before the birth of your first child. Also, prepare by getting rid of unnecessary expenses. For example, it will be cheaper to buy a second hand stroller, crib, and clothing as opposed to buying these items new. You can also probably cut back on extras like a baby walker, baby carrier, and the musical car.
3. Spending Money Differently – According to statistics, one of the most common reasons for divorce comes from conflicts over money. After the wedding has passed your personal finances will likely become joined, and that can be stressful for many. This is especially true if one of the spouses earns more income than the other. Unfortunately, due to “imaginary” generosity, couples tend to avoid talking about finances.
What to do? – Financial experts recommend talking about financial issues openly and without any shyness. It’s important for you to set priorities: will you family save money or invest it? Are you planning to make a big repair or go on vacation next year? Answering these types of questions will help you determine the financial strategy that’s best for your family.
4. Bad Habits – After living together for several years it’s not uncommon for some of your partners habits to become a bit annoying. Psychologists state that this happens with many couples and it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. Surprisingly, some habits which can get annoying even tend to be those which drew us to our partner in the first place. A love for sports, a passion for reading, popularity among friends – all of these are on the list of most annoying habits.
What to do? – Accept them. Keep reminding yourself that it’s the habits of your partner which make him or her unique. After all, you fell in love with this person partially because of these habits. If you find yourself getting irritated over small things more frequently, pay more attention to your work and friends as this will make you begin to miss your second half.
5. Forgetting Important Dates – Forgetfulness from a partner can often make a spouse sad because it may be perceived as a personal insult. How can your beloved one forget about your wedding day, birthday, or the day you first kissed? It turns out, even perfect people forget about important things. It could be due to work overload or just natural absent-mindedness. It could also happen because those dates are not actually that significant for your spouse because the most important thing in their life is your relationship, not marks on the calendar.
What to do? – Try to remind your partner about important dates and events in your families life. It will help you avoid disappointment and your partner won’t feel shameful for their absent-mindedness.
6. You’re Bored – The first year of marriage doesn’t always look like a magical honeymoon. Sooner or later, despite expectations, the number of flowers, romantic evenings and flirty conversations start to decrease. That ends up putting most couples into a boring routine. This disappointment can be explained by the increased expectations of both partners as well as the lack of life experience. Nevertheless, most couples manage to cope with such changes in their relationship.
What to do? – Priorities of married people differ significantly from those who are newly in love. Now you have a common household, a mortgage, and possibly even children. With all of those things in mind, spouses need to try and plan when they can go out on a romantic date or arrange other fun events in advance. Psychologists claim there is nothing unusual about this type of activity – the family life is all about sticking to a certain schedule and distributing duties. Plan to go on dates, romantic meetings, or to the movies — it will help you keep that spark in your relationship.
7. Bad Friends – Not only do newlyweds get new relatives, they can also get new friends as well. Very often, the friends of either partner aren’t welcomed into the new family. In a new marriage, it might seem like friends take up too much time and space in the families life. Some spouses also feel that friends can influence their partner in a bad way.
What to do? – Let your second half have a best friend who is not you. It can be difficult to accept this thought, but it might be really interesting for your partner to communicate with other people. Friends are important for keeping good relationships inside the family. This includes not only common friends but also your partner’s childhood buddies who have known them for many years.
8. Different Sleeping Regimens – Back in the 1970’s scientists learned about circadian rhythms and found that there were so-called larks who wake up early in the morning, active and full of energy. Conversely, there were also owls who were more active in the evening. What if the representatives of these 2 groups decide to create a family? This union can cause some inconveniences and can even be bad for one’s health.
What to do? – Different biological rhythms disturb a happy marriage in no way, as long as both people can manage to find a compromise. For example, while your spouse is sleeping, you can do many tasks that will be beneficial for the family.
Many good marriages end up slipping into crisis because we don’t or won’t believe how much work it takes to keep relationships healthy and thriving. It’s just like when you stop investing in the house you are living in. Without dedication it will easily fall into disrepair. Think back to when you first started to pursue your significant other. It required commitment, hard work, and some imagination. If winning your spouse over required that back then, why should it surprise you when neglect creates marriage issues after walking down the aisle? Your spouse wouldn’t have married you if you took them for granted. To persevere in the relationship and prevent divorce, both partners need to commit to doing the work and putting in time and effort. If you and your partner need more help, consider working with a marriage counselor or a religious leader if you share the same faith. These individuals can help you get a new perspective and can point you toward additional services if needed.
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